tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post4056500541489566024..comments2024-01-26T00:11:44.309-08:00Comments on let them eat pro-sm feminist safe spaces: Feministingvertehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07568745576713009205noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-23320243917281489432012-08-08T22:07:49.707-07:002012-08-08T22:07:49.707-07:00Can you headCheap wow gold only often submit this ...Can you head<a href="http://www.mmolive.com/" rel="nofollow">Cheap wow gold</a> only often submit this from Feministing or even mail that in order to her? I'm not sure she becomes mainstream below ever again but it could be<a href="http://www.rs4play.com/" rel="nofollow">Buy rs gold</a> beneficial to the girl to discover.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-50967113498021311362009-06-08T18:56:10.619-07:002009-06-08T18:56:10.619-07:00becstar's been saying a lot of remarkably stup...becstar's been saying a lot of remarkably stupid shit there recently; my partner suspects trollHershele Ostropolerhttp://somefacts.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-2938506910381612142009-06-01T23:42:55.945-07:002009-06-01T23:42:55.945-07:00did she? well, that's good.did she? well, that's good.belledame222https://www.blogger.com/profile/13947289856453172848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-27119275423456785122009-06-01T21:17:13.500-07:002009-06-01T21:17:13.500-07:00She seems to think that someone told her that she ...<I>She seems to think that someone told her that she should just accept that her (now ex in case you all were wondering) boyfriend wanted to rape her and consent to it so that it wouldn't be rape.</I>Hmm. We say, "get out - he's not a good person". She says "I can't leave". We say "Oh shit, well, stick to your guns and keep saying 'no' and keep yourself as safe as you can, cos this is not a good guy and we're worried for you".<br /><br />Where's the "just say yes so it isn't rape" bit coming from?<br /><br />At least she has now broken up with him and hopefully has some safe distance between them.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-21045605542210427102009-06-01T13:46:00.605-07:002009-06-01T13:46:00.605-07:00Welp. At least she broke up with the jerk.Welp. At least she broke up with the jerk.Dw3t-Hthrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11584245136407694660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-44994376232417531482009-05-31T22:22:00.958-07:002009-05-31T22:22:00.958-07:00she said before she couldn't or wouldn't leave him...she said before she couldn't or wouldn't leave him for various reasons including financial, I think? (with the implication being ideally she -would- do); I guess it's easier to let out your feelings on strangers on the Internets than deal with that shit at home if you, you know, can't. Still, though: thanks, really, not.belledame222https://www.blogger.com/profile/13947289856453172848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-73859245153108784022009-05-31T22:19:41.836-07:002009-05-31T22:19:41.836-07:00It's sort of aggravating how pretty much everyone ...It's sort of aggravating how pretty much everyone here told her the -exact opposite,- in fact, and she somehow managed to...not take that in, or something. Who knows what her deal is. Didn't cause it, can't cure, etc. etc.belledame222https://www.blogger.com/profile/13947289856453172848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-7325521297017824612009-05-31T22:15:42.820-07:002009-05-31T22:15:42.820-07:00Not that it justifies acting so horrible, of cours...Not that it justifies acting so horrible, of course.Hopehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08759330589108086721noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-36183869646642336162009-05-31T22:14:44.439-07:002009-05-31T22:14:44.439-07:00I'm with Belle. I don't really think she was bein...I'm with Belle. I don't really think she was being intentionally deceptive before, she just seems to have completely freaked out recently. <br /><br />She seems to think that someone told her that she should just accept that her (now ex in case you all were wondering) boyfriend wanted to rape her and consent to it so that it wouldn't be rape. <br /><br /> I suspect it was a misunderstanding, but I can understand getting freaked out by that.Hopehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08759330589108086721noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-72800094809728191622009-05-31T21:49:15.678-07:002009-05-31T21:49:15.678-07:00I'm not positive she was "spying" so much as just ...I'm not positive she was "spying" so much as just kind of wigged out about something recently; I've seen a fair amount of that tbh. People engage up to just a point and then for some reason, usually probably inspired by something outside the ongoing convo, slam the door and go extra hardcore in defense. shrug. not defending her in any way, just saying.belledame222https://www.blogger.com/profile/13947289856453172848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-16358940261515650542009-05-31T06:43:10.241-07:002009-05-31T06:43:10.241-07:00"I'm resilient enough to heal.."
I know, I just d..."I'm resilient enough to heal.."<br /><br />I know, I just don't like to see people I like and respect get so triggered and upset like that. I have an overactive empathy glad, or something. Glad you are feeling better!EthylBenzenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08809013705471938666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-7611641622143924572009-05-31T02:55:30.321-07:002009-05-31T02:55:30.321-07:00Looks like becstar was banned from feministing. I...Looks like becstar was banned from feministing. I wonder if the saga is over or not.ggg_girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00913576641960791118noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-3029369309113818432009-05-31T01:44:23.122-07:002009-05-31T01:44:23.122-07:00Honestly, I'm far less bothered by the "trolling k...Honestly, I'm far less bothered by the "trolling kinky spaces for information" than the "lying about the information she got".<br /><br />The most dysfunctional relationship that's been discussed around here lately has been hers, and we told her to <I>get the fuck out of it</I>.Dw3t-Hthrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11584245136407694660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-80563186099098161062009-05-30T16:44:21.723-07:002009-05-30T16:44:21.723-07:00I really really hate the tendency (seemingly most ...I really really hate the tendency (seemingly most common with anti-BDSM people, but not exclusive to them) to call any interaction that's the least bit negative or that they don't like "abuse".<br /><br />It fits in with the general watering down of the word that's necessary to call acts done with informed, enthusiastic consent abuse.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-62232913721358866892009-05-30T16:39:03.615-07:002009-05-30T16:39:03.615-07:00The way she immediately ran to Nine Deuce's blog t...The way she immediately ran to Nine Deuce's blog to share her tale of "I tried to engage with them and they abused me!" right after the flounce really makes the "underhanded" interpretation seem more likely. She wanted a war story, some wounds to show off to prove her valorous conduct against Teh Enemy.Alexandra Erinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03998072795095456473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-16464567984197141402009-05-30T14:26:50.395-07:002009-05-30T14:26:50.395-07:00I have decided to stop engaging if becstar's p...I have decided to stop engaging if becstar's personal attacks continue & I hope other people will do the same. It just seems pointless to feed into the negativity further. Maybe myself & other users will actually be able to have a meaningful conversation if everyone isn't using their time to respond to becstar's offensive comments.<br /><br /><A>http://community.feministing.com/2009/05/roller-coaster-rides.html#comment-262400</A>ggg_girlnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-28135297111256416582009-05-30T14:05:44.855-07:002009-05-30T14:05:44.855-07:00I definitely agree that getting used underhandedly...I definitely agree that getting used underhandedly like that is part of the risk of being open, and that it's a risk worth taking.<br /><br />Hey, using people's trust and openness like that is sometimes an intentional silencing tactic, figuring that people will speak out less if they've been burned for it before. Which is just all sorts of nasty.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-46239519403187227552009-05-30T13:47:21.508-07:002009-05-30T13:47:21.508-07:00Don't worry so much about it, EB, please. I'm res...Don't worry so much about it, EB, please. I'm resilient enough to heal; I had a rough week after that (not just for that reason, I went into it a little low on cope) but I'm okay now. At least until my mother visits.Dw3t-Hthrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11584245136407694660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-44638996846990390582009-05-30T13:04:30.363-07:002009-05-30T13:04:30.363-07:00Trin -- thanks, I just feel awful about what Kiya ...Trin -- thanks, I just feel awful about what Kiya had to go through beacuse of Becstar's totally out of line "response" to me. <br /><br />Kiya:<br />"Free clue: my neuroses don't have a right to run my life, let alone the lives of innocents."<br /><br />Well said.EthylBenzenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08809013705471938666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-35847979628755883752009-05-30T11:51:56.218-07:002009-05-30T11:51:56.218-07:00Regarding triggers, I'm gonna repost a fraction of...Regarding triggers, I'm gonna repost a fraction of <A HREF="http://lettersfromgehenna.blogspot.com/2008/08/something-appealing-something-appalling.html" REL="nofollow">this entry</A> here:<br /><br />Ban penises in my vicinity, just in case one of them might set me off? Presume to tell people "You can't bring that penis in here, she might have a flashback"? Free clue: my neuroses don't have a right to run <I>my</I> life, let alone the lives of innocents. I have the right to live like a normal person, and let other people likewise live their lives.<br /><br />It sucks to have to manage triggers. But it's something that I have to do. It's something I've worked on, actively, gentle exposure to the occasional penis, going so far as to look at a few (though rarely for long, because it makes my brain itch in unpleasant ways due to, y'know, triggeryness). But I have to do it, because that's the price of living in my head. Like sometimes walking with a cane is the price of living in my body. I don't get to opt out. If I were crippled by the possibility of encountering someone with a penis unexpectedly, I couldn't go get the mail, let alone have a satisfying life including my partners.Dw3t-Hthrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11584245136407694660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-70314476819656701212009-05-30T09:47:18.339-07:002009-05-30T09:47:18.339-07:00@ethylbenzene:
You have nothing whatsoever to apo...@ethylbenzene:<br /><br />You have nothing whatsoever to apologize for. Those kinds of press are the proper response.<br /><br />I meant it as an apology myself, because I assumed that Becstar was just confused and a bit miffed at some of us for being (gasp!) pro-porn. I assumed this because I hadn't seen the horrendous behavior in that thread.<br /><br />If I had, I would have been more aggressive about moderating. Probably not deleted any comments, but definitely told her that was unacceptable far sooner.Trinityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06846032433424879965noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-86011653142898505892009-05-30T09:43:22.560-07:002009-05-30T09:43:22.560-07:00"I hadn't seen the whole studies argument..."
Yea..."I hadn't seen the whole studies argument..."<br /><br />Yeah, sorry about that. That kind of thing just irks me. I also didn't realize how much of a troll in disguise she was. Sorry for crapping up the thread :)EthylBenzenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08809013705471938666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-60399260914164680802009-05-30T09:05:14.712-07:002009-05-30T09:05:14.712-07:00"The story closes with a conversation between Erik..."The story closes with a conversation between Erik and the doubter, concluding: "and yet - what we did was the right thing to do, and we would do it again.""<br /><br />I feel that way too, to be honest. She could really have been on the fence. She might have been willing to accept our help.Trinityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06846032433424879965noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-69700132488247777302009-05-30T08:51:49.990-07:002009-05-30T08:51:49.990-07:00Yeah, that's what I'm beginning to suspect. That w...<I>Yeah, that's what I'm beginning to suspect. That we (well, I) opened our doors to someone who we/I thought was honestly unsure about all this... and got epically trolled for the trouble.</I><BR><BR>I agree. And yet, I hope we'll be willing to let it happen again.<br /><br />In the book of "The Saga of Erik the Viking" there's an episode in which Erik and his men are stranded in the middle of winter in a foreign land; they have built themselves a hall and are waiting out the cold until they can set forth again in their longship. One evening, there comes a knocking at the door, and a thin waif with thin rags for clothes is there. The Vikings welcome her in and offer her shelter; they put more precious fuel on their fire to make it hotter and help her warm up. She tells them her parents are out in the blizzard, lost and hurt, but only a few yards from the door of the hall. In small groups, gradually Erik's men all offer to go out and search for the girl's parents - except one (who is known as having an ability to see things that others do not), who warns against sheltering this girl, and against going out into the blizzard.<br /><br />Eventually, there is only Erik left; even the doubter has gone out into the night. At this point the girl reveals herself to be a demon in disguise, and places Erik under it's power, and he is about to cut out his heart with his dagger, and give it to the demon, when the doubter leads all of Erik's men back into the hall and kills the demon - he'd managed to break the spell that was affecting them all.<br /><br />The story closes with a conversation between Erik and the doubter, concluding: "and yet - what we did was the right thing to do, and we would do it again."<br /><br />Sometimes people will take advantage of a welcoming attitude, but to guard against that abuse would require that we become heartless, unwelcoming and excluding of others.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-5025837096651794012009-05-30T07:59:24.012-07:002009-05-30T07:59:24.012-07:00"Becstar's being really underhanded, like she was ..."Becstar's being really underhanded, like she was just gathering info to attack people who do BDSM."<br /><br />Yeah, that's what I'm beginning to suspect. That we (well, I) opened our doors to someone who we/I thought was honestly unsure about all this... and got epically trolled for the trouble.Trinityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06846032433424879965noreply@blogger.com