tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post7616489118188467028..comments2024-01-26T00:11:44.309-08:00Comments on let them eat pro-sm feminist safe spaces: Not your usual BDSM and abuse storyvertehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07568745576713009205noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-64455372869497977582022-08-27T12:30:48.849-07:002022-08-27T12:30:48.849-07:00a7k00k2e14 m4w64r8o98 o5v21s3l02 a1m06w8e08 v9... <a href="https://mcshoate52287.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow"><strong>a7k00k2e14</strong></a> m4w64r8o98 <a href="https://shete15195.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow"><strong>o5v21s3l02</strong></a> a1m06w8e08 <a href="https://satheal72835.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow"><strong>v9g52v1u12</strong></a> i7e68j5i16touwharhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01979186048503647768noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-18259912332728658462017-09-19T02:53:46.404-07:002017-09-19T02:53:46.404-07:00777spinslot - top casino sites in the UK . Welcome...<a href="https://777spinslot.com/" rel="nofollow"> 777spinslot - top casino sites in the UK </a>. Welcome bonuses, great promotions, classic slots and table games are available for everyone.Leonie Daecherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08563760596713364986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-21665889424279027052014-03-31T22:02:22.262-07:002014-03-31T22:02:22.262-07:00BDSM
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Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-70995156621566637922012-03-23T01:19:35.864-07:002012-03-23T01:19:35.864-07:00Nice Page, be sure to offer an update, so we under...Nice Page, be sure to offer an update, so we understand how your are doing inside your job. thanks for sharing. Keep it up!New Orleans Cruisehttp://www.neworleanshotelsadvisor.com/hotels-travel/new-orleans-cruise.htmlnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-30516012614437982702011-06-26T17:14:08.550-07:002011-06-26T17:14:08.550-07:00This is a very wise post. More of us need to be sa...This is a very wise post. More of us need to be saying it. Thanks!Sexpertshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00781112894636030593noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-19637106507629486282010-09-28T07:29:27.965-07:002010-09-28T07:29:27.965-07:00I had a friend that was being harassed by a friend...I had a friend that was being harassed by a friend but she didn't like him. some days ago when he realize that she had boyfriend he killed her. That was terrible.Generic Viagra Bloghttp://www.iservepharmacy.com/blog/generic-viagra-improves-sexual-performance.htmlnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-73057040470220116102010-04-25T20:33:48.573-07:002010-04-25T20:33:48.573-07:00The Facebook of Sex offer a great way to meet frie...The <a href="http://www.dateawhore.com" rel="nofollow">Facebook of Sex</a> offer a great way to meet friends for <a href="http://www.dateawhore.com" rel="nofollow">BDSM</a>!skychixhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17951069304301758622noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-59315574244215412312008-02-05T20:09:00.000-08:002008-02-05T20:09:00.000-08:00This comment has been removed by the author.Trinityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06846032433424879965noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-64660882296716719832008-02-05T17:09:00.000-08:002008-02-05T17:09:00.000-08:00"Secondly, I truly believe now that it was an unco..."Secondly, I truly believe now that it was an unconscious desire for a BDSM type relationship that lead me to make bad choices in relationship partners in the past (in other words, I hadn't yet learned the difference between a dominant and an abusive jerk)."<BR/><BR/>skg,<BR/><BR/>I suspect this happens a *lot.*Trinityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06846032433424879965noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-80120581205456891652008-02-05T11:39:00.000-08:002008-02-05T11:39:00.000-08:00I went from an abusive relationship to several uns...I went from an abusive relationship to several unsatisfying (and short) vanilla relationships into the most beautiful BDSM relationship. However, that doesn't mean that a yen for BDSM is a reaction to an abusive relationship.<BR/><BR/>First of all, I'd had BDSM interests since I was eleven years old. Secondly, I truly believe now that it was an unconscious desire for a BDSM type relationship that lead me to make bad choices in relationship partners in the past (in other words, I hadn't yet learned the difference between a dominant and an abusive jerk).<BR/><BR/>Finally, regardless of what's gone before, if I truly am a submissive (and I am), then finding a healthy BDSM relationship can only possibly be a good thing for me. It allows me to express myself fully without criticism and gives me a safe place to explore every aspect of myself with someone who loves me, cares for me, and accepts me for who I am.<BR/><BR/>How could that possibly be unhealthy?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-45427348176793723912008-02-01T18:17:00.000-08:002008-02-01T18:17:00.000-08:00Trinity -- good point, re service.I think another ...Trinity -- good point, re service.<BR/><BR/>I think another aspect of the concern L raises, though, is not about whether BDSM and living a healthy life are mutually exclusive (I don't believe they are, b/c of many of the points you raise and others), but about whether BDSM is a good segue from an unhealthy life to a healthy one.<BR/><BR/>I too would be skeptical about whether someone dealing with abuse would choose BDSM for the right reasons or whether it's a good path to self-actualization for that person, on the rebound from abuse, necessarily.<BR/><BR/>People tend to seek repetitive patterns for reasons that can have more to do with self-esteem than fundamental "wiring." I wonder whether someone who may not actually be "wired" as sub might gravitate from being an abused partner to being a sub, without really confronting underlying issues.<BR/><BR/>Of course, were that person to take some time alone, either with therapy or not, and ultimately conclude he/she is drawn in that direction, more power to him/her. But I'm not sure rebounding from abuse to BDSM and feeling like one is flowering tells us as much as it seems to be, IMO.Octogalorehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14052288318330285365noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-50129522143637395452008-02-01T17:23:00.000-08:002008-02-01T17:23:00.000-08:00L,I've posted on this before, but I can't remember...L,<BR/><BR/>I've posted on this before, but I can't remember where right now.<BR/><BR/>Basically, what changed my mind about long-term D/s (other than realizing that my own yen for it was not going away, regardless of my worries about its healthfulness) was that I began to see a difference between subjection and service.<BR/><BR/>I think what people worry about (or at least, what I worried about) when they say that long-term submission is frightening to them is something like... the idea that someone will begin to live a dependent life. They will either live in a kind of subjection, degraded by their master(s), or, only slightly better, live a life of childlike dependency.<BR/><BR/>I thought that too at first, which is why I was willing to top and only let my dominance out in tiny doses.<BR/><BR/>But as I started to meet people who lived it, who really did set up these relationships, I didn't see adult children, dependent people never making decisions. I saw people whose status was much more akin to something like butlers or majordomos -- they're ordering things for someone else, in a way, but this usually requires a great amount of industriousness and quick thinking.<BR/><BR/>Submission in these relationships, at least among the people I know, is much more about status than about dependence.<BR/><BR/>Many service-oriented submissives learn formal ways to do things: set tables, serve large dinners, etc. The amount of diligence a lot of people put into the minutiae of serving well is amazing.<BR/><BR/>It's a lot more about, from what I see in people I know, living a disciplined and organized life than it is about dependence.Trinityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06846032433424879965noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-82367213671461792442008-02-01T17:07:00.000-08:002008-02-01T17:07:00.000-08:00Oh gods, I posted without reading the previous com...Oh gods, I posted without reading the previous comments. <BR/><BR/>"I said," you might want to, oh, I dunno, read some of the rest of the posts on this site or the many other BDSM websites out there, if you're really interested in a dialogue and not just trolling.<BR/><BR/>Short answer that you would know if you spent five minutes doing any kind of good-faith research -- many many people experience BDSM as orientational.EthylBenzenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08809013705471938666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-23975313974930123952008-02-01T16:59:00.000-08:002008-02-01T16:59:00.000-08:00Wow, what an awesome post. I can't say enough abo...Wow, what an awesome post. I can't say enough about how I really believe that discovering these parts of us is almost always an unqualified good in the rest of our lives. It's really just been such an amazing journey and I am so glad there's other people out there having such powerful, growing experiences.EthylBenzenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08809013705471938666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-46711038632943343252008-02-01T16:57:00.000-08:002008-02-01T16:57:00.000-08:00Wow, I find it INCREDIBLY hard to get my head roun...Wow, I find it INCREDIBLY hard to get my head round this. So you think some people are biologically wired to be submissive? Because it seems more logical to me that if you have been abused and dominated for most of your life then your sexuality will be affected by that. I can see how the D/s would help people deal with issues, but only as a kind of step to independence; I don't see how being constantly submissive to someone else can be a natural drive, or very healthy, to be honest. <BR/><BR/>I understand power play as a sexual game, but as a relationship I just cannot understand how it can be natural and healthy for people to live their lives either dominating someone else or being dominated.<BR/><BR/>I know this sounds a bit callous, but I'm genuinely interested, and I assume part of the reason for this blog's existence is to try and explain bdsm so I thought I'd post my bemusement.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-44607346186205732302008-01-30T07:43:00.000-08:002008-01-30T07:43:00.000-08:00This post could almost have been about me. I'm al...This post could almost have been about me. I'm almost two years out of an abusive marriage, and now I'm in a D/s relationship with the best dom that any sub could have. He's guided me, and helped me to learn how to be submissive without being hurt or taken advantage of. Even to the point of attempting to disentangle myself from a somewhat cloying and controling relationship with my mother. He's helped me to work through the issues that led me to a series of increasingly bad relationships in the first place, so that I never make those mistakes again. And he's given me the safety and security to develop as a submissive, and as a person, in ways I haven't been able to before. On top of all of that, he loves me.<BR/><BR/>BDSM may not save the world. But it's certainly helping to save me.<BR/><BR/>(btw, I've been reading for awhile, and just haven't posted. This was too spot-on to pass up, though)Kimmyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11334420321987604453noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-48605496680795821882008-01-28T12:46:00.000-08:002008-01-28T12:46:00.000-08:00Nothing's going to "save the world".People saving ...Nothing's going to "save the world".<BR/><BR/>People saving each other with a handle on appropriate tools to specific situations is all we've got.Dw3t-Hthrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11584245136407694660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-28881904427421591152008-01-27T21:32:00.000-08:002008-01-27T21:32:00.000-08:00"I used to think BDSM would save the world. Now, I..."I used to think BDSM would save the world. Now, I just think it is part of the world."<BR/><BR/>Nothing saves the world by itself.Trinityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06846032433424879965noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-760704342202547222.post-74696356724128438062008-01-27T19:31:00.000-08:002008-01-27T19:31:00.000-08:00I forget now who said it, but somewhere I saw a co...I forget now who said it, but somewhere I saw a comment that made an analogy with medicine: while it is true that sick people take medication, that doesn't make medication a symptom or perpetuation of illness!<BR/><BR/>I think possibly the best example might be diabetes (although I am a little hazy on the details of that illness). As I understand it, a diabetes sufferer, as well as needing to inject with insulin periodically, also needs to have a stash of high-sugar foods just in case the blood sugar levels start to plummet.<BR/><BR/>To someone unaware that the person has diabetes, this process of injecting and/or taking "secret snacks" might appear to be self-harming.<BR/><BR/>Furthermore, one way that a person can get diabetes is from having been an overeater - so it might appear that the "secret snacks" especially, were somehow perpetuating the earlier harmful behaviours (I seem to recall from some years ago now, a <I>Neighbours</I> storyline almost exactly like this).<BR/><BR/>But whether the diabetes is caused by earlier problems, or whether the previously undiagnosed diabetes had led to bad eating habits before it was diagnosed, the current situation is most definitely not harmful - rather, it is the very best way to control and manage the conditions.<BR/><BR/>None of the above should be read as implying that a submissive's nature (nor, indeed, a dominant's) should be regarded as an illness. But both are conditions that can, in the wrong circumstances, lead to harm. The difference between BDSM orientation and disease is that disease rarely has extremely positive outcomes; whereas BDSM is a true source of joy.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com