Saturday, 22 December 2007

Rubber Bands and Kittens

I was just watching this YouTube vid, featuring an ex-"ex-gay" man. In it the man talks about his therapist having him snap a rubber band on his wrist each time he finds another man attractive.

I post it because it reminds me of my own experience as a teen, when I finally got up the guts to tell the therapist I was seeing that I had sadomasochistic fantasies.

"Imagine touching a boy," he said (I thought I was heterosexual at the time), "and then imagine petting the cat."

Ostensibly, it was to teach me to learn to enjoy touching people gently -- which I was never against doing, anyway.

I tried it all of once. Attempting to conjure up thoughts of my cat while sexually excited did nothing but creep me out.

I never brought up sadomasochism again to that therapist. I think I might have told him that I didn't think his method was helpful, but I may not even have done that. I just let the matter drop. I wanted health care -- I needed it, for a lot of other more pressing reasons. So I got the health care, and pretended my sexuality issues weren't there.


alterisego said...

The first thing that popped into my head at this was the "aversion therapy" practiced in the turn-you-straight summer camp of the film But I'm a Cheerleader. That movie's good satire for a reason.

In all seriousness, though, I've resisted my parents offers of a therapist for the past couple years. I don't think one would be likely to understand what I have to say about my sexuality.

maymay said...

For what it's worth, readers will be happy to know that there is actually a directory of Kink Aware Professionals hosted by the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom that is quite a valuable resource.

Anonymous said...

I completely relate to your last sentence after being told "you must be a very angry person then" when I tried to even gently introduce my interests as a Top and my quandaries with my partner who wasn't SM compatible in therapy with an otherwise good therapist.

I think a lot of us who do stay in therapy learn to avoid sexuality issues because it's such a brick wall. Of course, our sexuality can be such a pivotal issue that our relationships and lives somehow don't improve when we can't talk about it.

Eventually I changed therapists AND partners, and I'm glad to say that therapists who are helpful to kinked people DO exist and DO NOT have to have it all explained every ten minutes.

Trinity said...

"I completely relate to your last sentence after being told "you must be a very angry person then""


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