Monday, 23 March 2009


Over at my livejournal, I'm collecting personal stories, and links to posts about, the whole radical feminist view that kinky folks should "examine our desires."

The project began because I wanted some references to cite to a commenter at Feministing, Nerdisms, who was asking me why I and some others think that "examine your desires" can be a badgering tactic. I wanted some stories to cite to explain some people's cynicism about the whole "examination" idea (though I'm also perfectly happy to see stories from people who think it's a good idea, too.)

I think I may have driven Nerdisms off, but I still think it's useful to collect people's stories in one place, where they can easily be linked.

I decided to ask for people to post them to my LJ rather than here, because I'm actually not the owner of this blog, and it's actually easier for me to archive things if they get posted at my own blog.

Anyone care to add to this project? Anything, from "I felt badgered by such and such a conversation," to "I thought examining my desires was useful and came up with this" is welcome.


garbo in paint said...

I have no adequate response to this. I waver between wanting to examine the desires and just wanting to... you know... enjoy them, lol.

I understand pretty intuitively where they come from and I stand by my assertion it is not just nurture over nature, but a healthy mix of both.

As to this being used as a bludgeon... to be honest, it just exhausts me and makes me want to disengage from the conversation. It's like my status as a sex worker - these facts about me, and my Femme identity, in some people's eyes automatically discount me as a feminist, or as aware of patriarchal construction. It's BS and if aspects of my identity that are inherent and passionate and important to me and that it was actually a big battle and on going one against SO MUCH to be able to claim and fully realise, are viewed through a narrow graze and all the stridently feminist opinions I hold, present and fight for are ignored, then the obliviousness is not from my side.

I live a feminist existence. I don't need to justify that to anyone.

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