Jeffreys was asked to elaborate on her earlier admission that she has had distrubing fantasies or has been aroused by pornographic material. In response, she commented on her efforts to purge herself of undesirable fantasies. She said she has given up fantasizing altogether; she took some time off from sex in order to try something completely different . . . She suggested that giving up fantasies was a strategy to cleanse the movement of S/M.I love her. Why? Because she has the balls, excuse me, the ovaries, to hate me openly.
Now this may not make sense to anyone like our lovely Verte, who's been heckled and worse for being openly into BDSM. But my experience here in the US, rather than across the pond, is of a murky half-friendship, one hand extended in friendship and the other concealing a knife at my back.
Backed into a corner it's "oooh, you can do whatever you want in private, I wouldn't dream of intruding upon you, ooo!" *titter*
Among The Trusted Good Womyn it's "...and in a feminist utopia no one would get off on that! MAY THE DAY COME SOON AMEN!" with absolutely no understanding of how othering that actually is, and most likely quite a shitfit about how I dare to sully the term "othering" with my foolish little pussy-grounded concerns
or snark on BDSM and how evil it is, hidden where they hope we won't find it.
or the infamous
"but have you EXAMINED YOUR DESIRES?"
as if they look really keen under a microscope.
(To snark less: Yes, I have. No, it did no one any good unless I was doing it for a particular reason or with a particular aim that did not involve self-shaming. Thank you and good night.)
or any number of examples of weird shit that is
according to these people
completely compatible with accepting me in the Movement, theoretically (oh thank you Overlords for your blessing, I kowtow in thanks), and how dare I say otherwise.
And as soon as I say "but all this implies you're trying to kick me out," the caterwauling begins:
"what I think of what you do isn't the issue! don't take this so personally! this is about feminism, not your bed!"
which, y'know, makes no sense when you've just been backhandedly insulted over and over, but is somehow supposed to be logical. SOMEHOW.
Compared to that, "GTFO" is, well... nice. Because I can easily say "Nope, not moving" and get on with my damn life.
I think there is a huge tendency, actually, in all sorts of leftist circles to feel that saying "Nope, you're wrong" is somehow anathema, and therefore end up saying exactly that in these really creepy, masked, toxic ways.
It also makes it easy not to have needed conversations about the implications of a certain theory, view, or opinion. "SM isn't consistent with radical feminism, radical feminism is the only worthwhile feminism, but I'd never kick out a woman!" makes one's position confusing and marginalized and unclear. "Given my views, you cannot be what I deem a feminist" does not.