A few days ago, a feminist blog I follow made a post regarding a male chastity device. It's pretty obvious that the thing's intended for BDSM fantasy play - or at least it is to me. The poster missed that the first time around, which is fine if she's not familiar with BDSM. Learn something new every day, right?I don't have much to add to what Zula says there.
What really gets me, though, is that after making an edit saying she missed that it was intended for fantasy play the first time around, she ends it with "Men get to fantasize about having their sexuality controlled, while everyone tries to control a woman's. Funny, innit."
GAH. So if a guy's a Dom, he's exercising male privilege by subjugating poor sub women like me, but if a guy's a sub, he's exercising male privilege by indulging in fantasies of subjugation (that for some reason women like me are incapable of)?
But uh? Wow. Just *wow*.
It's a common theme in anti-BDSM radfemville that a dominant guy is subjugating women for shits and giggles, but a submissive one is slummin'. I can't say I'm not startled to see it on popular feminist blogs, though.
Or that I'm not seething.
I'm honestly not sure what exactly we're supposed to take as evidence that everyone's BDSM is always man-centered. I mean, I get that a lot of what's packaged for consumption, even if it is "femdom," is often directed towards male markets and so geared to male fantasy.
But I really resent feminists -- feminists! -- telling me the power I claim consensually in the bedroom is a lie and a farce, when those same people would tell me that if Monkey and I switched, his power would suddenly become terrifyingly real.
Which is it, dammit?
And when exactly did it become feminist to disempower me because I'm female? I really would love to know... *sigh*