Monday, 11 August 2008

And now back to your regularly scheduled snark

I'm not going to do much quoting this time around.

Only say, well, that apparently the existence of seriously fucked up people proves once and for all that female tops are not subversive.

So glad we cleared that up!

But uh, by the same token, do similarly fucked up people prove once and for all that anti-prostitution feminists are really rapists?

My position is "uh, hell no, that's not just jumping to conclusions but performing acrobatic trapeze routines", but if that's how the game is played in your mind, okay.


Anonymous said...

Out of the professional scene it is the same, just without money. Dom women always seem to end up doing what fits sub men’s sexual fantasies. Don’t sit there and try to talk down to me like I don’t know what I’m talking about as some outsider academic with my head in the clouds either - I lived in the BDSM culture in 3 different states in 2 different regions of the country for OVER FIFTEEN YEARS.

I'll bet she'd disagree that the inverse is true of male tops and female bottoms (i.e. that the male top ends up doing what fits the female bottom's fantasies) - even though by the nature of it being NEGOTIATED, it almost has to work that way!

Trinity said...

Ha! Nice one, Snowdrop.

And yeah, we're very often pleasing our bottoms. Though I do think that sometimes people say that in a way that suggests that we're all service tops only doing what others want, and that's not so... and obscures that sometimes we specifically play with the idea that the top can order or consensually "force" things to go his/her way.

But yeah, people HUGELY miss how often many of us are facilitating others' pleasure no matter what gender we are.

belledame222 said...

oh ffs. What is "the BDSM culture?" and no, you -still- don't get to say what ALWAYS happens, unless you truly are Every Woman.

Trinity said...

"oh ffs. What is "the BDSM culture?""

She could mean "I was in the Scene" or suchlike. But, yeah... that's really squishing together everybody everywhere, when different subcultures within the Scene are wildly different, and even different groups have wildly different focuses, ambience, and feel.

I don't mind "I left, and I'm glad I did" or "Wow, I thought I'd enter No Sexism Land and boy, did that not happen, ew." But I sure don't like "I was around for fifteen years, I should know how bad it was."

If you hated it that bad, why stay so long?

I think that's the thing for me really... I notice a lot of people who put deep effort/identity into being an "ex-whatever", and it always confuses me. I've changed a lot in my life, but everywhere I was in my life has taught me lessons, shaped me.

If I ever do give up BDSM -- and some of you may be shocked to hear this, but yes, I HAVE considered it, more than once actually -- I've promised myself I'll never disavow who I was. If I change, I want to be able to say "This is what worked for me then, this is why, and this is who I am now."

I don't want to be the kind of person who disavows her past.

Dw3t-Hthr said...

Heh. I got my liege into kink. And occasionally have horrible angstfits about how it's clearly All About Getting Me Off ....

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